Twisted, yet fun–the weekly writing challenge

The Daily Post had a fun and mind-stretching challenge this week: write something in a mix of genre and style that would normally never go together, e.g., Sci Fi/ Fantasy as an Open Letter; Historical Fiction as a Rant.

Why not? Gets me outside my comfort zone and might prove amusing–hopefully for others as well as myself. Here’s my stab at it.

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Marie-Gabrielle Capet [Lyon, 1761 – Paris, 1818]

Genre: Romance. Style: Instructional. Topic: self-publishing your first manuscript.

Step One: As the breeze from your desk-top fan blows gently through the soft curls of your hair, spend endless, aching hours caressing your manuscript with your burning eyes; search its very heart and soul for any misspellings, typos, or overuse of adverbs.

Step Two: Carefully formatted and saved (both on your whirring hard-drive and the infinitely mysterious Cloud), your virgin manuscript has finally reached its maturity. Murmur softly to the computer screen, “You are finished, my dearest—my one, my only. No more silence and ignominy. No more hiding. I take this final step and my passion will be made known to the world!”

Step Three: With bosom heaving and hands shaking, slide the mouse gently across its pad, guiding the cursor to the pulsing button on the screen… “Publish.”images

Step Four: With a cry of pure delight, click your mouse, and ride the waves of joy as Smashwords or Kindle Direct Publishing processes your words. Then, when you see the upload is complete, release your mouse and fall back into the welcoming arms of your office chair. Now all that is left is to bask in the warm glow of your act. It is done. You are a published author, and nothing could ever be wrong again.

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