It’s all the puppy’s fault

You’ve heard of kids blaming their dog for eating their homework, right? Well, I’m going to hop on the old bandwagon and say that my new puppy is the reason I’ve not hammered out more chapters in my latest novel, and why my floors are less clean than I like them to be if I’m going to be able to write. (You all know how I need a clean floor before I can order my thoughts.)

Juno puppy

Here’s my day:

5:30 a.m. puppy wakes and needs to pee/ poo/ chew on my leg

6:30 a.m. youngest son is up and playing with said puppy in the living room, making as much noise as possible to wake his older brother.

6:45-7:45: making breakfast and making/packing lunches for both son’s, and feeding puppy, cat, and 7 chickens.

7:50-8:05: make myself a cup of tea or coffee while shouting at boys to get teeth brushed, hair combed, socks and shoes on, lunches and homework in back packs, FLUSH the toilet and WASH your hands, please, while also keeping the puppy from chewing on our ancient cat or eating ancient cat’s tasty chicken pate cat-food.

8:05-8:15: load puppy in car and take youngest son to school. Try to keep puppy from destroying the seat-belt in the back seat or from jumping on my lap while driving.

8:20-8:40: breathe, drink beverage mentioned above, take puppy out to pee/ poo/ chew on my leg.

8:45: load puppy in car and take older son to school. Try to keep puppy from destroying the seat-belt in the back seat or from jumping on my lap while driving.

9:00-9:30: Clean up mess from breakfast/ lunch-making. Smile at puppy’s antics until she begins to chew on my leg. Throw ball for puppy.

9:40: make another cup of tea and prepare to write.

9:45: sweep floors while puppy chases the broom and barks

10:00: sit down with computer.

10:01: Scream at puppy just as she’s starting to squat on the rug. Take her out and giver her a treat for “good potty.”

10:05: Clean rug.

10:10: sit down with computer. Get distracted by answering email and checking to see if anyone has looked at my blog in the last 30 days.

10:45: WRITE

10:50: make another cup of tea and take puppy out for a walk before she tears the sofa to shreds.

12:00: dig around in the fridge looking for left-overs that can be heated in the microwave or just eaten cold standing over the sink. Feed puppy. Pet her silky ears and marvel at what a smart puppy we have. She can sit! Ya, she can’t stay, come, drop-it, leave-it, focus or lay down with any consistency. But she really has sit. Unless of course we’re outside and there’s another dog around. Or kids. Or grown-ups. Or cars, leaves, birds, or squirrels.  Basically, she can really sit outside if there’s not much more than air to distract her.

12:30-8:00 p.m: Just read the above and mix it up a bit.

8:05-9:00: Hounding boys to brush teeth, bathe, pick up underwear from where they flung it on the lamp, and GO TO BED, while puppy poops on the floor.)

9:05: clean poop and curse profusely.

9:15: Say “Hi” to my hubby.

9:20: get computer and put it on my lap. Stare at the screen wondering what the puppy is doing.

9:21: cat jumps on lap and sits on keyboard.

9:30: Take puppy out for a last pee and crawl into bed, wondering if I’ll get more writing done tomorrow.

Super dog!


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